A few years ago it might have seemed foolish for an archer or archery fan to think bows and arrows could and should be featured in a Super Bowl commercial.
If you haven’t heard, archery is sort of popular. Ask Jennifer Lawrence. Or Katniss Everdeen. If you can get onto the set of “MockingJay” (where film crews are shooting the third and fourth installments of “The Hunger Games” saga near Atlanta, Ga.), you could ask them at the same time.
The game, featuring the NFL’s Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks, will deliver the biggest audience for a single program, which is why brands are paying around $4 million for a coveted 30-second spot, according to Forbes.
So, does archery have a leading or supporting role in a 2014 Super Bowl ad spot? Here’s what an unscientific, online search uncovered:
1.There’s a commercial featuring Ellen DeGeneres with a “bow.”
Thought Progression No. 1: The search term “bow” isn’t the way to go. People “bow” to show respect and they wear “bows” in their hair. This search term did reveal, however, that DeGeneres is doing a spot for Beats Music. She dances while wearing a big, blue bow! (The actual commercial starts at minute marker :58.)
2. Hyundai has an ad spot Sunday, and an older Hyundai Genesis commercial featured archery once. Not this time.
The older “Hyundai Genesis Coupe vs. an Arrow” commercial:
The commercial set to air Super Bowl Sunday is the “2015 Hyundai Genesis — Dad’s Sixth Sense”:
Thought Progression No. 2: My hope soared when I saw Hyundai had secured a couple of ad spots during the 2014 Super Bowl. The carmaker actually showcased archery just a few years ago. Then, I realized the “spoiled meat” rule applied here. If you want really good fresh meat, go to the grocery that just got busted in the media for selling crappy meat. The negative publicity puts them atop their game moving forward. See? It’s counter intuitive. In much the same way, if Hyundai featured archery before, you’d think, “Oh! They like archery.” But, in reality, they probably won’t touch archery again until your children’s children are zipping around futuristic America in a Hyundai fueled by Little Debbie cakes.
3. Oh well, archery’s no good in commercials anyhow. Half the time, they don’t get it right.
Thought Progression No. 3: The Infinite Curve is this underground archery blogger who archers and others in the archery community seem to know about, but the rest of us (regular people) do not. At this stage of my search, I’m wondering how legit was the archery in that Hyundai commercial? I was hoping The Infinite Curve broke it down in one of his posts. I learned, instead, that he bashed the archery featured in this Strongbow commercial. I don’t like bashing, but the Infinite Curve is a Brit and he’s cheeky about it.
4. Speaking of Brits, damn this is a great Jaguar commercial. It’s also set to air during this weekend’s NFL clash.
Thought Progression No. 4: This is where regret sets in. I can explain it like this: When you go bowhunting, you basically hunker down in a ground blind or perch in a tree. There you sit for a long while (unless you’re super lucky), pretending to be part of the woods and waiting. After a while, you want to see that wild turkey or white-tailed deer so bad that you begin hoping the distant tree trunk is actually dinner heading your way. You try desperately to project your hope into your reality. Same thing with these ads. I’m watching them and thinking: “Oh nooooo. Now that would have been the perfect scene to feature a bow and arrow!”
In the Jaguar ad, that moment was when the Brit is sitting on the plane, holding a cup of tea (minute marker :40). It would have been brilliant if an arrow had zipped by as the sleek British villain shifted in his seat (only slightly, of course). The arrow misses and he, ever stoic and in command, takes a delightful sip of tea from his gold-rimmed china cup.
5. Regret reaches its peak with this Axe commercial, set in a war-torn dystopia (a word made popular by “The Hunger Games” franchise, making its use mandatory in this article about archery.)
Thought Progression No. 5: Most of all, the new Axe Peace — a deodorant brand — stunk it up. They missed a grand opportunity. The commercial offers this quiet-before-the-storm vibe and a montage of scenes where violence and combat are right on the cusp of erupting. But then each moment instead materializes as expressions of love. Uh, hello?! It’s almost V-Day. Cupid? Arrows? Let’s do this, people.
P.S. Seriously love the near-monochrome style of the footage, which is the perfect backdrop for the blood-red lipstick and heels worn by the war-weary diva. (Minute marker :32.)
6. Conclusion: No archery for this year, archery fans …. unless … unless there’s something not yet seen. Which is why we watch and remain vigilant until the final whistle blows!
Meanwhile, there’s this archery offering for the ladies, thanks to The Infinite Curve: :
And for the boys, we give you Donna Loren in a 1964 Dr. Pepper classic. *wink*
Thought progression No. 6. There’s always, always hope. Here’s looking at you, Super Bowl XLIV (that’s the one in 2015). #Sigh.